Friday, December 3, 2010


My Ryan is 4!! My Ryan is just a million things!! He is a sweet heart, can be sensitive at times, he rarely likes to cuddle, can not sit still, makes everyone laugh by saying and doing the funniest things and many many more!!!

Ryan was born at 31 weeks weighing in at 4lbs 14oz and 19 inches long. To this day I have No idea why he came so early!! =*(  He was long and so so skinny!! Ryan stayed in the NICU for 30 days! On Monday September 4, 2006 Ryan took a turn for the worst. We lived in a hotel room because the NICU was an hour away from where we lived. I sat trying to eat breakfast but I had a bad pain in my gut. Can't explain the feeling. My husband and son were eating there breakfast so slow it seemed. I stood up and said "I can't eat. I need to go see Ryan NOW!! Either you all hurry up or I'm leaveing you here." I got up and walked away. The look on there face of unknown!! They finished up and we were off.

We walked into the doors and I saw Ryans nurse. She looked at me with sadness and said he is not doing good!! (What?!?!?!?!!!) She explained that there not sure whats going on. His blood presure is super low and his heart is beating super fast. They just gave him morphine and are going to watch him. It "might" be a disease called NEC in the intestines but there not sure. The doc's are thinking if he doesn't get any better they might take him for an "Exploritory Surgery"!!  "Exploritory Surgery!! Morphine!! Not Sure What It is!! Disease!! NEC!! Blood Presure super low! Heart beating super fast!!"   I looked at my husband hoping he could catch me as I was about ready to fall. He wasn't ready either!! He was pale white and staring at my son! (Knowing my husband skin is tan!) I thought he was going to lose it!! I picked my self up and told him I need to go pump for some milk. I was nursing Ryan. He didn't say a word.

I walked away with my legs shakeing. I wanted to fall, curl up in a ball, and scream at God!! How dare he take my son away!! I went to the mom's room and started pumping. The tears rolled out! I was saying "Please God..Please God..Please God..Don't take my baby away!!!" Over and over, crying and crying!! After a couple of minutes screaming, I felt a calmness come through me. I sat and thought, "Everyone is praying for my son! I believe in prayer and I know that God above is listening! I need to have faith! Believe in GOD!! Trust in GOD!! He answers prayers. It might not be what I want now but its what he thinks is best!! What ever his decision is I have to TRUST!! He knows what he is doing!!" I finished what I was doing and walked back to my Ryan and husband! I told Raul my husband what I thought! "Believe in God and Trust in God!! God will take care of this!!" He looked at me like I was crazy but didn't say a word! He knew I should have been the first to loose it!! My husdand and I stayed that night by Ryan's bedside. Not sure if we were going to loose our baby!!

Through that night Ryan began to stabelize himself. He wasn't out of the woods but getting better!! He had a pole of 5 different meds going into his little body!! Around 5 a.m. he started moving. He was tucked in a snug fit blanket. Ryan pulled out his legs and feet and then quickly tried to put them back in again!! (To this day he HATES for his feet to be cold or exposed to cold)!! From that moment the meds started coming off and he started to get better and better. Praise God!!

I love this story because my Ryan went through so much!! He is a healthy 4 year old now!! Praise God!! I also love how God came over me and showed me how to Trust and Believe!! I left it all to God!!

I try hard to take each one of my baby's on a mom and son date!! Miley has not had her turn because she is still to young! I am hoping to try to get Ryan to go with me on a Mom and Son ice cream date this weekend!! I have asked him and he says "Ok, but Dad, Miley and Raul can come too!" We will have to see if it will work!!

Have a Good Weekend!!

Hug your children tight!! They grow Way to fast!! Don't blink!! ;)  <3

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